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Therapist Shopping
A few months ago my therapist retired and moved to warmer environs in the south. He said I was managing my OCD well and that I didn’t need therapy until the autumn. Mood music: That last appointment...
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Find Yourself a Real Doctor
Written in June, 2010. Here’s the thing: Asking me for medical advice is like asking Charles Manson how to be a pacifist. Mood music: [spotify:track:79DVDD46pdqwjYucn91fny] In the months since I...
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The Ego OCD Built
The author has an ego that sometimes swells beyond acceptable levels. OCD fuels the fire. Written in December, 2009 and just as real now as it was then. Mood music: Last night I got on here to explain...
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Wherein I Run Afoul Of The U.S. Secret Service
My resolve against the inner demons is tested regularly. Some are little tests, like being put in a room with all the food and alcohol I once binged on daily to see if I can resist the temptation. Some...
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20 Years Ago: The Day Kurt Cobain Died
I remember exactly where I was 20 years ago today, when I saw the news flash about Kurt Cobain’s suicide. I was lying in bed, depressed and reclusive because of frequent fear. Mood music: I was living...
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Layne Staley, 12 Years Later
“What’s my drug of choice? Well, what have you got?” –Layne Staley, Alice in Chains This month marks 12 years since Alice In Chains frontman Layne Staley was found dead. Mood music: Like Kurt Cobain,...
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Luke Skywalker Has OCD (May The 4th Be With You, Too)
In honor of Star Wars Day, I share an observation about Luke Skywalker. The dude went through a lot in life, and I respected that. But there has always been something about him that gets on my fucking...
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Carter Center Fellowships for Mental Health Journalism
People love to pick on the presidency of Jimmy Carter. To be sure, there’s much to criticize. But Carter has done awesome deeds since leaving Washington 33 years ago. One such deed: working to break...
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Bad Customer Service Is a Mental Health Threat
There’s a reason the recorded call with a belligerent Comcast employee went viral. It wasn’t for sheer entertainment value, though some will undoubtedly find it amusing. It’s because practically every...
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“Crazy Mike” Lives
A couple years ago I wrote some posts criticizing fellow Haverhill residents for making fun of a mentally ill man — Crazy Mike, as he is unfortunately known. Some jerks created a Facebook page...
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40 Years Ago in Amityville
Some of you have seen the “Amityville Horror” and instantly think of it as the story of a haunted house. I never believed it, but I’ve always been drawn to the murders that started the whole thing off....
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The Lost Generation of Revere, Mass.
An old friend from the Point of Pines, Revere, sent me a note some time ago. He came across my post on Zane Mead and another on the Bridge Rats gang. For him, they brought up more memories of kids from...
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The Sister Who Saved Her Family
My youngest sister, Shira Beth Brenner, was born 29 years ago today, sending rays of sunshine into a house that was in darkness. You might think it’s hyperbole for me to say she saved the family. We...
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The Only Way Out Of The Fog Is Through It
We all go through it: Something upsets us so much that we go into a fog; unable to function when we’re still required to do so. It rises up like a brick wall. Mood music: We smash into it a few too...
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Heavy Metal Saved Me
I am your main man, if you’re looking for trouble. I’ll take no lip, no one’s tougher than me. I kicked your face you’d soon be seeing double. Hey little girl, keep your hands off of me…I’m a rocker....
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What a Weird Dream Says About My Real Life
I’m in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., as I write this. I’m in a hotel by the beach and it’s pretty relaxed. I’m sleeping more deeply than I have in a while. I’m also having some fucked-up dreams. Since I...
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The Burden of Being Upright, Part 2
I’ve written a lot about the frustrations that come with trying to be a good man when you carry so much baggage. The burden of being upright is something we all carry, but it’s really been weighing on...
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My Kill Switch
For someone accustomed to rising at 4 a.m. on a typical day, getting up at 7 a.m. is a lot like sleeping in. Lately, though, I’ve outdone myself in spades. Some days, I can’t seem to get out of bed...
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So You Think You Need a Psychotherapist
People frequently ask me about psychotherapists. They think they might need one and want to know if I see one. If so, am I getting results? Here’s my attempt at an answer. Mood music: I currently see...
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Skinny Like A Fool
At dinner with friends one night, a conversation about weight control got started. It reminded me of how hard I used to work to stay thin, and how dangerous some of my methods were. Examples: –In my...
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